A palliative care nurse called Bronnie Ware made a list of the biggest regrets of the dying. Her list seems plausible. I could see myself—can see myself—making at least 4 of these 5 mistakes.
If you had to compress them into a single piece of advice, it might be: don’t be a cog. The 5 regrets paint a portrait of post-industrial man, who shrinks himself into a shape that fits his circumstances, then turns dutifully till he stops.
The alarming thing is, the mistakes that produce these regrets are all errors of omission. You forget your dreams, ignore your family, suppress your feelings, neglect your friends, and forget to be happy. Errors of omission are a particularly dangerous type of mistake, because you make them by default.
I would like to avoid making these mistakes. But how do you avoid mistakes you make by default? Ideally you transform your life so it has other defaults. But it may not be possible to do that completely. As long as these mistakes happen by default, you probably have to be reminded not to make them. So I inverted the 5 regrets, yielding a list of 5 commandsDon’t ignore your dreams; don’t work too much; say what you think; cultivate friendships; be happy.which I then put at the top of the file I use as a todo list.
I had that argument with you again
where you tell me love doesn’t exist.
How can us humans
write about something for centuries
that doesn’t exist.
This burning
In the pit of my stomach
this glimmer
in my eyes
this smirk
on my mouth
is love
I believe in love.
Sometimes the summer air
blows sideways through my hair
and past my eyes
and reminds me that we
are all connected.
The distance between us
never really mattered
much-
when the wind blows as fast
as it does.
How I long for those
summer storms
when the wind has no regard
for its surroundings,
we all move.
The heat, the rain
all come so quickly
in succession
and I will just stand there
and laugh.
The thunder, the lightening
don’t scare me
like they scared off the birds
scattering
and daises closed.
The storm always passes
and with it comes a
fresh crisp summer morning
and the wind
blows sideways in my hair.
Today I awoke in my bed
and the sun
was shining ever so gently
into my room
broken by the shutters
the light danced across my face
the warm beams
touched my lips
and I smiled without teeth
I recalled those times
we awoke together
and how I didn’t think I could
ever be happier
than I was in that moment
who knew that
time could change so much
so much
I got out of bed
opened the shutters all the way
felt the breeze
on my cheeks
daylight shines so bright
secrets can’t hide
here.
anywhere.
and I smiled without teeth
Today is a fresh start
that is all I need
to think
I think
and I smiled
with teeth